A Conversation with Ella Junior: Growing Up Black in the South and Practicing Self-Care Along the Way

Today, I am delighted to share with you the gem of a human that is Ella Junior. I have known Ella since 2016 when we both started working at a diverse school in East Nashville as kindergarten teachers. Ella is such a sweet person with a kind, loyal, and giving heart. She is also a phenomenal teacher, one who conveys a deep love for all of her students, whom she endearingly calls her “kiddos.”

In the fall of 2017, I told Ella about my plans for the creation of my blog, The Honey Print. Knowing Ella had a special talent for hand lettering, I asked if she would design my logo and was thrilled when she said yes. We met for brunch at Milk & Honey a few weeks later, where Ella presented me with this:

My logo, framed to keep, along with a kind note! I instantly loved the logo and launched my site with it in October of that year, and I still use it today. I am so grateful for Ella.

I recently spoke with Ella about life in general, the issue of racism in our country, and what her experiences have been as a Black woman in the South. Self-care is also important to Ella, and she offers some wonderful advice for those who might need to take care of themselves a little better! See the full conversation here:

Tell us about yourself!

I grew up in Hendersonville, TN. I went to a small private school from preschool to high school. I graduated from University of Alabama with a major in English and a minor in social welfare and received my master’s in teaching from Relay Graduate School of Education.  

I’m a kindergarten teacher at Nashville Classical Charter School. I am an avid fan of hand lettering and creating beautiful things for people. I also really enjoy organizing things, decorating and making spaces peaceful, calming and beautiful.

**I am passionate about education, diversity, inclusivity and people.

What does a typical day look like for you?

(Pre-COVID) I wake up, have my quiet time, do a quick Italian vocabulary lesson (I took Italian in college and wanted to get back in the practice of learning another language), work out, make breakfast and then go to work.  After my kiddos leave school, I put on music and have an afternoon coffee while preparing and setting my classroom up for the next day. This year I really wanted to focus on  leaving work at work (unless I am grading tests) so when I get home I can be present and truly relax so I can let go of the day. After dinner, I usually will watch a TV show then wind down for bed. I drink a cup of tea and have a gratitude or brain dump journal time to let go of the day so that I can refresh and reset for the next day.

During COVID I had the same routine, without leaving the house or setting things up in my physical classroom. 

What is your biggest dream?

WOW! Dreams?! Career-wise, I am kind of living my dream right now. I had a “later in life” realization that I wanted to be a teacher. Truthfully, it is a dream that I am even teaching, I wake up everyday so grateful that I have a job and excited to go to work!

In my personal life my biggest dream is to be a wife and mom, I’m not sure when that will happen but I am excited for that chapter in my life when it comes.

What inspires and empowers you?

My kiddos inspire me. They literally make me better by showing me more ways to show myself and others grace, empathy, authenticity and love. Even though they are 5 and 6, they are the best teachers and I learn so much from them.

My mom and sister empower me to be my best self. When I need a dose of confidence, I ALWAYS turn to them to hear what I need most. When I need a humility check, I can count on them to give me the gut honest truth.  They are the ones who help me feel the most wonderful and empowered in my own skin.

What is most important to you?

My family is absolutely at the top of my list of importance. But also mental health and well-being has moved to the top of things that matter most to me. I had a moment a few years ago when I was in the middle of grad school and in my second year of teaching and I was not taking care of myself (mentally or physically) and I had a legitimate break down where I cried for 2 days because I was so exhausted. I didn’t feel like myself. I felt sad, joyless and I walked through the motions, I didn’t really want to talk to friends or spend time with anyone. I went to work, class in the evenings and when I got home I would eat something and go to bed. It was like that for a few months.

My dad called me to check on me one day and in the middle of our conversation I just broke down and told him that I was tired of work, school, life and living. He is my voice of reason and told me that life IS hard and no one said that it is going to be easy, but you have to keep living for yourself, NOT other people and what they expect. I realized that I put a LOT of unnecessary pressure on myself because I have this fear of not being perfect and failing other people (Enneagram 2 here).

I promised myself from that moment on that I would take better care of my mental and physical health. So I started working out, eating fresh foods and meditating. After a few weeks, I felt like I was finally starting to get back to myself and I started to feel a joy that I had not experienced in a long time. I just felt happy to be in my own skin. Mental health and well-being are super important to me.

How do you practice self-care? What are you doing to take care of yourself right now?

During the week, I work out everyday, do short sound bath meditations (meditations that incorporate ambient sounds to help with deep focus throughout vocal meditations) and I journal. I have “Motivation Monday” where I listen to a positive and uplifting podcast to start the week off hearing from someone else’s perspective. My favorite podcasts are On Purpose with Jay Shetty and Hey, Girl. by Alex Elle.

But my favorite day is Sunday. I have “Self-care Sunday.” I go to church, exfoliate then put on a face-mask, paint my nails, pick a mindfulness practice and affirmation for the week, make a menu for the week so that I don’t have to use too much brain power when it comes to what I want to eat. I wash and dry my dishes and put them away. Sometimes I will do an unwinding yoga practice and before bed I put on a cooling eye mask, listen to a meditation, calming music or a podcast. I feel so refreshed and relaxed for the week ahead.

What are you reading right now?

This pandemic has allowed me to slow down and FINALLY read the books that have been adorning my shelves. My latest reads for the last 2 months have been:

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin

Happy & You Know It by Laura Hankin

Beach Read by Emily Henry

Next Year in Havana by Chanel Cleeton

Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo

Get a Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert

What has been your experience as a Black woman in America?

I am very lucky. Growing up, I felt safe and protected. I received a great high school education and my teachers were supportive and actually took me seriously. When I went to college, I had teachers who saw and treated me like a human being and were always super encouraging. I never felt like I was a second-class citizen, because I had endless support. I have encountered forms of racism/sexism, but I felt comfortable standing up for myself and telling people that their comments were not okay and that opened the door to having those transparent conversations.

As I have gotten older, I have had to work extra hard for people to take me seriously and I have experienced micro aggressions from men and non-BIPOC. For example, when I walk into a place that is not minority heavy, people stare at me and immediately ask if I need something. I’ve heard the comments from people behind my back and to my face saying that I “don’t sound black” or “I’m so articulate” or “I sound so educated.” My response is always, “How else am I supposed to sound?” It’s something that I have grown accustomed to (I used to get super offended) but I am really comfortable with who I am and if people have questions, they can gladly ask and I will answer. I’m not offended, I realized that I don’t have to explain myself to people who fail to see me as a person.

I had a phenomenal English professor at Alabama who really helped me speak about my experiences and told me to own them because they are a part of who I am and the narrative that I have lived and want to continue to live. He told me that life is made up of both good and bad experiences and you learn from the positive and negative, most of the time good experiences far outweigh the bad, if you let them. I carry that with me every day.  Instead of being offended by people and having an aggressive guard up when it comes to how people regard me, I made a commitment to show more grace, see the good in others and see what people are doing to make a change. I have had a lot of people perceive things about me that are untrue, I don’t want to be a person who perceives things about other people. I want to extend the most grace possible to give the best opportunity to get to know people for who they are regardless of what they look like, their beliefs or their political stance. We all have a choice on how we want to see the world and I want to see it as a place where there are people who will stick up for others and there are people who are committed to using their privilege to lift up someone who does not have the same privilege.

How does the issue of racism impact you as a teacher?

Racism impacts everyone, especially in the classroom. I want to use my voice and position to open up conversation with my kids. I think that it is important to talk about differences and celebrate them. Though I teach younger kids, I use stories from my own life to help make connections with them and give them the courage that they need to be 100% themselves. We live in such a “filtered world” that glosses over the hard things, but I think that it is important to acknowledge the hard topics and have real conversations about them, while intertwining a message of hope.

How do you feel seeing non-BIPOC at the protests?

Seeing non-BIPOC protest brings so much joy and tears to my eyes. It makes me believe that people truly care about the issues at hand and are actually willing to do the right thing and stand up for people who are different from them. It makes me believe that my life has meaning and merit to other people. It also shows me that while there is STILL so much progress to be made, we HAVE made strides in regards to race in America.

What do you wish non-BIPOC people knew or understood?

I want non-BIPOC to know that you can still have a voice in the Black Lives Matter movement while also believing and knowing that you have worth, value and your life matters too. I know that there are many who are combatting this movement with the “All Lives Matter” slogan, but that is not what this is about. ALL lives DO matter, and the BLM movement is not discounting that other lives matter. This is a movement that is trying to convey that there are STARK differences when it comes to people of color and their treatment. What non-BIPOC may not realize is that POC hold their breath waiting for a loved one to walk back through the door of their home after they have left, or being stopped by a police officer means that you must have your hands visible and follow EVERY direction to a T so that you are not “deemed dangerous,” or making sure that you are dressed appropriately when you go somewhere so that you are not followed in a store. When it comes to education, there are vast differences in the  resources that are given to majority and minority counties and schools. Minority schools are underfunded and overpopulated. 

It’s a movement that is shedding light on the injustice of people of color and the conversations that black parents have to have with their black children about their worth and value in society that deems them invaluable or unworthy based on their appearance… EVERYDAY. People of color are over it. Of course all lives matter, but not everyone has been through the same experience and many cannot relate to the EVERYDAY life of a person of color. People of color are not trying or asking for non-BIPOC to resonate with them or try to gain a common ground for us to have a shared experience. This is about clear lines of discrimination being brought to light and hoping that meaningful change will occur. People are finally seeing with their own eyes, instead of reading about racial injustice in a history textbook that paints a “progressive picture of change,” there are disparities that have been swept under the rug for WAY TOO LONG.

Thank you, Ella!

Thank you so much for giving me an opportunity to do this and being committed to making LGBTQ and BIPOC voices heard.

For custom hand lettering projects, email ella.junior11@gmail.com.