Pictured above: Elsie, running carefree through the park
I tried to write a post yesterday, on New Year’s Day, and found that I didn’t have the words for what I wanted to say. To be frank, I’ve never really liked New Year’s Eve or Day. The end of the Christmas season generally puts me in a gloomy state, and another year’s close feels so bittersweet. Plus, there’s the loom of returning to work the very next day after a relaxing and joyful break.
Yesterday, I went through my day with great nostalgia. I went to see Lady Bird (highly recommend) and teared up throughout the whole film (even though I am usually not a movie crier). I went to the grocery, I talked with loved ones, I sat alone, and no matter what I did I couldn’t shake the feeling of being a little lost and down, simply because of the close of one season of life and the opening of another.
I told my boyfriend, “I just feel like time goes so fast.” And he, who is always very light and genuinely optimistic, said, “Yeah. There’s nothing we can do but enjoy every day.”
It’s a sentiment that is clichéd, but he’s right. Although I’ve heard this time and again, hearing him say it, on New Year’s Day, resonated with me in a new way. I’ve been thinking about it throughout my day, as I sleepily returned to work this morning, and throughout the evening.
For me, it means being aware of my feelings and being okay with them. I might always feel a little sad on New Year’s Day. It’s not wrong, and it’s not something I should fight. It always fades.
I also think that this enjoyment of every day means increasing my awareness for what is positive and for which I am grateful, each day. It means expressing that in gratitude and love for others.
And so, my key New Year’s Resolution this year is to write down one positive thing that happens daily. I won’t just think about it – I’ll actually write it down. I already journal each night, so this should be an easy addition.
As opposed to setting lofty goals about eating healthy and working out, I want to be aware of when I do these things and recognize them with gratitude. For instance, instead of being hard on myself for not exercising one day, I’ll shift my focus to something encouraging that happened. And when I do, I’ll celebrate it.
Perhaps by this intentional observance of the every day, by next year, I’ll find some positivity on New Year’s Day, and even be able to enjoy the holiday with newfound optimism and a fresh perspective.
P.S. This brings me back to a post I wrote a few months ago entitled The Beauty of Impermanence. If you enjoyed this post, check it out for a little related reading. : )